Father Tim Lemlin
St. Therese of Lisieux, in her autobiography, tells us about a sister in her convent with whom she had a great deal of trouble. One evening while the sisters are in the recreation room this particular sister comes into the room and sits next to St. Therese. After a few moments St. Therese tells us that she couldn't stand being near this sister any longer and runs from the room. As she runs she repeats over and over again, "Why can't I love her God? Why can't I love her?"
Every family no matter how big or how small seems to have at least one individual that gets under our skin. Each family seems to have one person that, no matter how much we try, we can't resist hating or disliking, and with whom, it seems, we can't speak without getting into an argument. It always feels like with this one person we have to win - we have to be right and that person must be wrong.
This might not be too bad if we only see this person once in a while. It can create a great deal of anxiety if, like St. Therese, we have to see this person each day.
Then there are the different journeys and places of development in family relationships. It often happens that one person is no longer able to understand or sometimes even recognize another family member because they have changed. The compatibility that had made for harmony seems to disappear and only strife and anxiety remain.
Our gospel story gives us an example of this happening in Jesus' family. This might have been the first time that the members of Jesus' family were anxious because of his decisions, but it would not be the last. His family would even at one point question his sanity and seek to bring him home where they could care for him.
The truth is, we will never completely understand each other and the harmony caused by our compatibility is most often only temporary. This is usually compounded by the hurt that we cause each other and the retaliation that naturally follows. It happens between friends, spouses, parents and children, siblings, races, churches, and nations. Someone hits me and I hit back - almost instinctively. Someone bombs one of our buildings and we bomb two of their buildings.
Jesus will refer to this way of relating as one being possessed by a demon. We can't seem to stop ourselves. He calls retaliation being possessed by the prince of demons because we not only can't stop ourselves, we also feel justified - we feel like we are doing something good by our retaliation.
The only way out of being possessed by a demon is to become possessed by love. When St. Therese leaves the recreation room and is by herself she cries tears of frustration and tears of recognition. She knows she is no better or worse than this sister and she knows only God is able to love.
We are made in the image and likeness of God. The image of God is permanently embedded within us. Nothing can change this reality. The likeness of God - the ability to love when another hurts us - is usually lacking because we don't experience God's image dwelling within us often enough.
Fasting (the acknowledgement that I am more than my bodily needs), almsgiving (the acknowledgement that others are my peers) and prayer (the acknowledgement that I am not the center of the universe) are helpful and necessary practices if I am to experience God's image within me. No matter how much I try, I can't be like God. It is only to the degree that I know I am loved - I can experience the image of God dwelling within me - that love can flow through me.
