Father Tim Lemlin
We hear this story of the Magi traveling to find the newborn child each year. It usually blends with St. Luke's gospel account of the shepherds coming to visit. Both visits are depicted in most manger scenes. Depending on the correctness of the scene the shepherds are placed near the manger and then are replaced with the Magi. But since the crèche is usually packed away before the Feast of Epiphany even arrives, most often both the shepherds and Magi are on display together.
The Christmas scene is so familiar to us that it doesn't occur to us how strange it is, that the ones who come to see the newborn are not good Jewish people who attend their synagogue each week. Shepherds are people who roam. They exist on the fringe of society. Most often, they have no permanent home. They are people who live in the wild and are considered to be sinners - unworthy people.
The Magi in Matthew's account of the birth of Jesus are not even Jews. They are pagans. Even if they wanted to worship in the Temple they would not have been allowed entrance. They are people who are sensitive to nature - people who study the movement of the stars.
Neither Matthew nor Luke has anyone who is thought respectful - good - come to visit the newborn child. It is only sinners and pagans who are attuned enough to be aware that God is doing something special - that God is entering into nature and becoming flesh.
Why is this? Shouldn't those who are churchgoers, those who are following the moral codes and laws, and those who have good reputations be the ones who realize that God is drawing close?
Matthew's account has the Magi visit with people who would seemingly rejoice at their news. They don't. We are told that both Herod, the one who represents the secular institution, and "all Jerusalem with him," that is the religious institution, are "greatly troubled" by the news which the Magi bring. Both have accepted an identity about themselves and the news of the Magi feels like a threat to their established way of life.
The question "Who am I?" is not often asked because it threatens who I want to be - who I need to be. The threat is so real to us that most often we can't even hear the question. We hear instead, "Why am I?" "How am I?" "What am I?" and "When am I?" All are questions about time and space, but never about my true identity.
Why, how, what, and when are questions that allow me to continue a way of life that might be painful but also feeds an image that I have of myself that must be kept alive - at any cost. It is the only "me" that I know. Should this "me" die then surely I would die.
The spirituality of Alcoholics Anonymous starts with the question "Who am I?" It doesn't ask, "How is my addiction affecting me and other people?" It doesn't want to know "Why I am addicted?" It doesn't seek to answer "How or when did I become addicted?" (These are questions that might be asked later.) No, the first question asked is "Who am I?" and until this question is answered the addiction cannot be seen and embraced. Until the individuals can look at the question and answer it, their self-made identity created to help them survive will continue to control their lives.
AA only works because, by the grace of God, some people have asked the question "Who am I?" and continue to ask it each day. These people become "models" for others. They are people who continue to find freedom from their addiction by painfully living with their addiction. They, by the grace of God, accept that their addiction will never leave them and stop pretending that they are someone else.
God needs models to show us who we are. God needs people who ask the question "Who am I?" and who don't run away from the answers that "I am a sinner." "I am a fraud." "I am a frightened child who so desperately wants to be loved." "I am, by the grace of God, beloved of God." God needs models who can see - imperfectly - the deceptions of the self-made identity that keep us distracted by telling us that we must defend our identity even if it means destroying that which threatens us. "It is never my fault, and if it is my fault then there are extenuating circumstances, or I was deceived, or I have a reputation to protect, or…" And the reasons go on indefinitely.
The ones who are able to see God-incarnate in both Matthew's and Luke's gospels are the ones who are susceptible to the question "Who am I?" because they have nothing to protect. The shepherds are outcasts and the Magi are pagans (not part of the "chosen people"). Let us pray that God give us models who can help us stop running from the question "Who am I?" and with God's grace begin to allow God to show us "who I am."
